We take communion at Riverwood every week. Some time ago, we used to take it monthly. We used to take it with grape juice and crackers. Now, we take it weekly, with wine (grape juice is available for those who don't partake) and a wonderful homemade rosemary bread.
Communion, to the non-initiated, is a sweet time where we symbolically partake in the Lord's Supper. Every communion, we hear this (from Luke 22):
"19 And he took bread, and when he had given thanks, he broke it and gave it to them, saying, 'This is my body, which is given for you. Do this in remembrance of me.' 20 And likewise the cup after they had eaten, saying, 'This cup that is poured out for you is the new covenant in my blood.'"
Tim, Eric, and Jimmy put together a great series of devotions on what communion is, the meaning of it, and also what communion isn't. I'm not going to re-hash that now, but I will say that I used to see communion as a time of repentance. Back in the day, with the grape juice and crackers, I used to pray, "God, I am so sorry for my sins, thank you for loving me, thank you for saving me, thank you for who You are." Then, it was all about trying to bridge the distance between me and God. Which wasn't a bad thing, but I'm not sure that repentance is what communion was pointing us to.
Over the past couple of years, my eyes have been opened to a different meaning. I also didn't realize the significance of taking communion weekly. Now, however, due to the meaning and frequency, I crave it. When we celebrate the sacrament of baptism rather than that of communion, I feel a pang of being slightly let down, even though baptism is just as important. Now, this is how I pray: "Joy, joy, joy! What a relief! I am being given a chance to participate in the new covenant, but it's not because of my own efforts, it's because of yours! Hallelujah!" Sometimes I don't even pray that. Sometimes I just sit there with a big grin in my heart. Sometimes I talk while the cups are being passed out. I mean, what's the point of being solemn? This is huge, this communion thing! Do we even understand how revolutionary this is, that we are being changed by the One who claims us, who redeems us, who loves us? I know that I really don't, I won't til I'm done and fully sanctified. But, what a gift! One of my favorite things is looking for the biggest piece of bread, the biggest portion of wine, and taking it. One time, I even accidently took two pieces, and I wasn't even sorry. The homemade bread, the wine, the partaking of it together with my covenant family...all of this seems designed to me as excellent symbols of the promise, of the blessings I am given, freely given, rather than the blessings that I might pass on or the blessings that might depend on me.
Yep, I'm greedy for this time. Hopefully at some point in my life I'll be a little less greedy with the bread and wine.
Sunday, January 29, 2012
Monday, January 16, 2012
Titles, Wanting Respect, and What's Left
I found out some hard news last week. We were laying off ten people in our company. This is, for us, a typical January. Last January we instituted a salary freeze. So, this year, we're going this road. I also found out that we were streamlining our management structure. At my company, we had five VPs, four directors, and a couple of managers. Now, we have four VPs, no directors, and four managers. Guess who's not a VP anymore? No, I'm not fired. I've been demoted.
I was a bit surprised when my boss called me and informed me of the decision. I have to admit I was relieved, too. I've been feeling squirmy (really, that is the best word, I promise) about this role; I've had to make decisions related to deciding who will have to be laid off; I've had to take ownership, not just look to my boss for answers; and finally, I've been reporting to the CEO, who is about 360 degrees opposite me in personality. After he told me the demotion news, I told him, "okay."
Yet, the more I thought about it, and the more meetings I realized I wasn't a part of, the less happy I felt. Actually, I felt rather...displaced. While the holidays were marching along, decisions had been made. I felt marginalized. My boss and the other VPs had discussed me and my position in the company. I felt a bit like having a pity party.
I went to church on Sunday and heard a sermon about "having rights." The text was from Matthew 5:38-42. 38 "You have heard that it was said, 'An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.' 39 But I say to you, Do not resist the one who is evil. But if anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. 40 And if anyone would sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. 41 And if anyone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. 42 Give to the one who begs from you, and do not refuse the one who would borrow from you."
Tim said, and I paraphrase, we do not have rights related to human retaliation, possessions, our time, our money. These "things" are human-granted rights. We, as Christians, believe in personal self-sacrifice; but not through our own means, because if we did we'd exchange one set of morality for another. We believe in the sacrifice that comes from keeping our eyes fixed on Jesus, who suffered the ultimate sacrifice. Only through the cross can we even attempt self-sacrifice. Here is the charge: "When you abandon personal rights, you gain every right that Jesus has been granted by his Father. In losing your life, you will find it."
My title - my silly title that I was ready to give away while I was a VP but then was feeling displaced over when it was taken away - was not given to me by my boss at my company. It was given to me by God. What I have at my job is what I have been blessed with. My days there are numbered by Him alone. And in losing the title, I remember that I have one true boss; One who will govern my days and keep me in the palm of His hand. I desperately needed this message at the time that it was given. I still have my moments of pity, particularly now that everyone at the company is coming to me saying, "What?! They took you out of that spot?" But I also needed this perspective.
I was a bit surprised when my boss called me and informed me of the decision. I have to admit I was relieved, too. I've been feeling squirmy (really, that is the best word, I promise) about this role; I've had to make decisions related to deciding who will have to be laid off; I've had to take ownership, not just look to my boss for answers; and finally, I've been reporting to the CEO, who is about 360 degrees opposite me in personality. After he told me the demotion news, I told him, "okay."
Yet, the more I thought about it, and the more meetings I realized I wasn't a part of, the less happy I felt. Actually, I felt rather...displaced. While the holidays were marching along, decisions had been made. I felt marginalized. My boss and the other VPs had discussed me and my position in the company. I felt a bit like having a pity party.
I went to church on Sunday and heard a sermon about "having rights." The text was from Matthew 5:38-42. 38 "You have heard that it was said, 'An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.' 39 But I say to you, Do not resist the one who is evil. But if anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. 40 And if anyone would sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. 41 And if anyone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. 42 Give to the one who begs from you, and do not refuse the one who would borrow from you."
Tim said, and I paraphrase, we do not have rights related to human retaliation, possessions, our time, our money. These "things" are human-granted rights. We, as Christians, believe in personal self-sacrifice; but not through our own means, because if we did we'd exchange one set of morality for another. We believe in the sacrifice that comes from keeping our eyes fixed on Jesus, who suffered the ultimate sacrifice. Only through the cross can we even attempt self-sacrifice. Here is the charge: "When you abandon personal rights, you gain every right that Jesus has been granted by his Father. In losing your life, you will find it."
My title - my silly title that I was ready to give away while I was a VP but then was feeling displaced over when it was taken away - was not given to me by my boss at my company. It was given to me by God. What I have at my job is what I have been blessed with. My days there are numbered by Him alone. And in losing the title, I remember that I have one true boss; One who will govern my days and keep me in the palm of His hand. I desperately needed this message at the time that it was given. I still have my moments of pity, particularly now that everyone at the company is coming to me saying, "What?! They took you out of that spot?" But I also needed this perspective.
When Christ calls a man, he bids him come and die. -- Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Monday, January 2, 2012
The Holidays
It's 10:30 pm and I'm a little sad that my vacation is over. I rarely have time to slow down during the year, and the week between Christmas and New Year's tends to be the time of moving a little slower, getting a little reflective, and thinking about what blessings I have.
This year, we had a busy Christmas and New Year's, but we really made some good memories. We went to Paducah, Kentucky for a solid three days and four nights. We laughed, spent time with the Hancock grandparents and extended family, and enjoyed the outdoors. Specifically, we went out for a family run with the whole family in tow (excluding Uncle Fil). Seeing Joe and Phyllis run around the neighborhood in Reidland was so much fun. Phyllis, Melanie, Joe and I all had a night of wine-and-alchohol-drinking which was then followed by Phyllis driving me and Melanie around in the golf cart, narrowly missing fences but enjoying the stars in our homemade planet-arium. Joe had plenty of wisdom to impart that night, which included making sure that I know that women love to hear a lot of BS. LOL. Of course, there were presents galore.
When we got home, we spent time ice skating, watching movies (Dragon Tattoo and Sherlock Holmes at the movies, and plenty at home), doing littles/bigs Christmas parties which of course included Just Dance 3, having our own family exercise at Sokol with the model airplaners, arguing, and of course, taking down Christmas ornaments. I cooked a few of the nights, too, which can be relaxing when I force M to get the groceries. We also spent New Years' at different locations - me and K at our friends' in Bham and M here at the house - but we rejoined and actually went to church the next day. No drunk texts from me this year!
As far as being reflective, I know that this is the time of year that I tend to be down. I haven't been, so far, but we're really only two days into January. So we'll see how this goes. And I'll get to see how tightly God clings to me, despite my wandering and my unfortunate worship of things that are not Him.
This year, we had a busy Christmas and New Year's, but we really made some good memories. We went to Paducah, Kentucky for a solid three days and four nights. We laughed, spent time with the Hancock grandparents and extended family, and enjoyed the outdoors. Specifically, we went out for a family run with the whole family in tow (excluding Uncle Fil). Seeing Joe and Phyllis run around the neighborhood in Reidland was so much fun. Phyllis, Melanie, Joe and I all had a night of wine-and-alchohol-drinking which was then followed by Phyllis driving me and Melanie around in the golf cart, narrowly missing fences but enjoying the stars in our homemade planet-arium. Joe had plenty of wisdom to impart that night, which included making sure that I know that women love to hear a lot of BS. LOL. Of course, there were presents galore.
When we got home, we spent time ice skating, watching movies (Dragon Tattoo and Sherlock Holmes at the movies, and plenty at home), doing littles/bigs Christmas parties which of course included Just Dance 3, having our own family exercise at Sokol with the model airplaners, arguing, and of course, taking down Christmas ornaments. I cooked a few of the nights, too, which can be relaxing when I force M to get the groceries. We also spent New Years' at different locations - me and K at our friends' in Bham and M here at the house - but we rejoined and actually went to church the next day. No drunk texts from me this year!
As far as being reflective, I know that this is the time of year that I tend to be down. I haven't been, so far, but we're really only two days into January. So we'll see how this goes. And I'll get to see how tightly God clings to me, despite my wandering and my unfortunate worship of things that are not Him.
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