Over the past week, I've had three separate occasions for friends to talk about swearing with me. My feelings on it, at best, are formed from my upbringing, years of confusion about it, and opinions formed by watching and listening to those that I respect, including those that are evangelical believers.
I grew up in a household where we didn't swear. It was sort of shocking to say "damn" and I never did. I wasn't the type to throw out that type of language even in high school, when my peers did it. And I did get made fun of being a goody-two-shoes. I just never actually thought anything about it when people did swear, except if they swore every other word. Seemed excessive, unnecessary, and uneducated. Still, I wondered how saying "darn" was much different from "damn."
When I got married, my husband did swear. Not constantly, just an occasional expletive when angry. It wasn't every day, but often enough that I worried about my daughters hearing the words and repeating them during their tender years. I still wasn't one to swear much, but I did listen to songs with swear words in them. It was sort of shocking if I ever said "hell" at work. From this I learned that to be effective and meaningful at swearing, you only did it once in a blue moon to get people's attention.
After Jesus brought me into his kingdom, I did learn to hate pretty quickly the "g-d" type words and then grew to hate the "oh my g" expression. The second commandment, after all, is to avoid taking the Lord's name in vain. I've seen fellow church-goers that do curse on occasion, and also seen those that really would never swear and probably can't stand it. I have heard an occasional word from the pulpit. Mark Driscoll is apparently known as the "swearing pastor."
What is the biblical view of swearing? I am not the quickest at jumping in my Bible and finding all the references for what I need to know, but I went to challies.com and did a search on it. Found a couple of comprehensive articles here that I have been dwelling on for the last couple of days. I think one quote that I found to be very thoughtful is from Wayne Grudem: "Using the words commonly thought to be offensive in the culture seems to me to be sort of the verbal equivalent of not wearing deodorant and having body odor, or of going around with spilled food on our shirts all the time. Someone might argue that not wearing deodorant or wearing dirty clothes are not morally wrong things in themselves, but my response is that they do give needless offense and cause others to think of us as somewhat impure or unclean. So, I think, does using words commonly thought to be ‘obscene’ or ‘offensive’ or ‘vulgar’ in the culture generally. Plus it encourages others to act in the same way. So in that way it brings reproach on the church and the gospel."
And he also quotes these verses:
ESV Titus 2:10 not pilfering, but showing all good faith, so that in everything they may adorn the doctrine of God our Savior.
ESV Ephesians 5:4 Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving.
ESV Ephesians 4:29 Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.
ESV Philippians 4:8 Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.
These verses, quoted the way I just laid them on the page, are out of context. Why is Paul talking like he is in Ephesians? What is he referring to in his letter to the Philippians? These are things I'm going to need to study further.
Next, I have the words of my own pastor on our Riverblog here. He categorizes swearing into profanity, cursing, swearing/oaths, perversion/degradation, and linguistic inelegance/rough language. One excellent point he made is this: "it doesn't take a cuss word for us to communicate hate or perversion. The most innocuous word could be used in a context of rage and perversion." He also mentions James 3: "1 Not many of you should become teachers, my brothers, for you know that we who teach will be judged with greater strictness. 2 For we all stumble in many ways. And if anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle his whole body." And there is more in James about the tongue staining the whole body. The final point, though, is definitely worth reading: "We reserve our mouths at times— not because the specific speech is intrinsically or spiritually bad, but, rather, through our propriety we are showing deference and respect to all of our weaker brothers and sisters. Similarly, we are preserving the witness of Christ to an unbelieving world who may misunderstand and associate these words with anti-Christian beliefs. It is my wish that we 1) regain awesome reverence for God's name 2) respect those around us 3) and not attach improper moralistic restraints to words that are not truly profane, curses, or perverse."
I love the idea of holiness. This, to me, is what the verses I've repeated point to. What I also realize, though, is I am far from it. I truly believe in the idea of total depravity, which means I am never going to satisfy the perfect-ness required that was satisfied in Christ; but even further, like Paul, I am the worst of sinners. So therein lies the theological concept of sanctification. I didn't flip a switch the day I was baptized and become "holy." I think we need correction. On this issue, in particular, I needed to remember what scripture says and remind myself that I have miles to go before I sleep. Particularly in our post-modern culture, it's important to reflect on this topic that can be sensitive for believers, but also for non-believers.
To me, however, the biggest issue is not of the actual language itself, but of the heart. The language points to a heart issue - a heart of hate, a heart of rage, a heart of wanting our own way, a heart of selfish pride. And isn't that what God must change, our heart? Isn't that what God promises to finish? It's not my own doing, but His. I am regretful of the language when used to degrade others, and I confess this. But I cannot change my sinful heart; He must do this. And I pray that He does this in His timing.
I've had some posts on this blog that are offensive, that are based in degradation or rough language. And in understanding that this can be disrespectful to other believers or those that haven't studied this topic, I am removing those. Know, though, that's a band-aid on my own flesh. And know that I'm covered by the grace of Jesus.
