In a Mirror Dimly

Is it true that it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all? I hear this expression and it just confuses me. Because when I am going through the loss, the expression feels like utter crap. I don't know if that's because I'm too sensitive, because I feel like relationships in general are just hard and many lead to loss, or because I dwell too much.

When I try to find truth, I go to one place. And of course there is one book that really dwells on love. 1 Corinthians...

13 If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 And if I have aprophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, bso as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3 cIf I give away all I have, and dif I deliver up my body to be burned,1 but have not love, I gain nothing.

4 eLove is patient and fkind; love gdoes not envy or boast; it his not arrogant 5 or rude. It idoes not insist on its own way; it jis not irritable or resentful;2 6 it kdoes not rejoice at wrongdoing, but lrejoices with the truth. 7 mLove bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, eendures all things.

8 Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For nwe know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but owhen the perfect comes, the partial will pass away. 11 When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways. 12 For pnow we see in a mirror dimly, but qthen face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as rI have been fully known.

13 So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.

Paul, by God's grace, shares with us what love is. This man, who never got married, but had plenty of cohorts in Christ, tells us what love is, and he defines it by telling us of the love of Christ. We will have nothing if we cannot love, he says in v2. An unstated conclusion looking at v7 is that love is painful, it's messy, and there will be suffering with it. I love this: "when the perfect comes, the partial will pass away." Paul is not describing love we can manufacture, but still, we can strive towards it with the Holy Spirit working in us. And the love in all of the verses applies to our families, our marriages, our friends. While there are differences between eros, agape, storge, and phileo love, we still have to remember that in all of those cases, somehow God uses our own imperfect love and draws us closer to Him. And although we cannot practice a perfect love here, I do believe we can grow in the qualities he lists the longer we walk with the Lord, avoid hiding ourselves in a cocoon, and allow those experiences and relationships to make us sanctified.

I don't think we need to force relationships or try to be friends with those that we have nothing in common with, or be in a romantic relationship with someone we're not attracted to. But when we're in one, I think we need to be all in, according to these verses. Painful as it can be. So, I think it's a yes, according to Paul, it's better to love (as God told us to, not another kind) and to have experienced loss. We have to give of ourselves in our relationships, and give with love, and lose in love, because of one simple truth: it looks like it's biblical.

This is precious

My daughter in Spain

 

Life goings on

I spent mother's day weekend with my girls at my in-laws. We went boating, paddle boating, the girls even went waterskiing, and we just enjoyed each other. We even had a family dance party. I also ran a 10K! For the very first time in my life. That was an adrenaline rush.

I unsuccessfully tried to sell signs for TCHS volleyball.

I succesfully sold some hair ties for M's missions trip this summer.

I went to a graduation party for one of my friends' sons and reflected on how fast kids grow up.

I signed about 10 check-in notes so K could skip school because they weren't doing anything. She finished her last exam today and is sort of ready for summer.

I went to dinner at a restaurant where K has started a new job as a hostess. She makes a great first impression.

I still struggle with not being in a dating relationship, and it goes in waves, but I asked for prayer this week at fellowship. I am deeply glad for the prayer.

I am sad and happy for my daughter M who's going to Spain in two days for this missions trip. She is not just growing up, she's there.

And that's how it goes.

The least of these

I'm ashamed to admit I was once "pro-choice."

When you are indoctrinated with what you are fed by the media, that a woman's body is her business, you tend to believe it. When you realize that women who get raped may not want those babies, you think it makes sense. And when you don't examine those fetal cells in a woman's body too closely, you don't think about when life begins.

Then I got pregnant. And I knew the baby I carried was alive.

Then I started meeting women who miscarried. And the grief they experienced was akin to losing a child.

Then I met women who gave birth knowing that their child would have birth defects or would even die. And I knew there was a purpose behind the beauty of creation.

How does anyone hide from details around these precious babies before they are born? Even if you are raped, even if you believe that a woman's body is important, shouldn't you value the baby if it could be a woman one day?

I read with interest today about Kermit Gosnell's conviction today on three counts of first-degree murder, 24 counts of felony, and 227 misdemeanor charges. I am convinced that man is a monster. It is hard for me to pray for him, but I feel like I must...that at least one day he is brought to justice and knows what occurred. It boggles my mind what happened in that "clinic" of his and it makes me physically ill.

Let us pray for, speak up for, and fight for "the least of these."

Ever paid attention to Ephesians 1?

From 1 Ephesians

3 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ. 4 For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love   5 he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will-- 6 to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves.7 In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God's grace 8 that he lavished on us with all wisdom and understanding. 9 And he made known to us the mystery of his will according to his good pleasure, which he purposed in Christ, 10 to be put into effect when the times will have reached their fulfillment--to bring all things in heaven and on earth together under one head, even Christ.11 In him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will, 12 in order that we, who were the first to hope in Christ, might be for the praise of his glory.13 And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit,14 who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God's possession--to the praise of his glory.

These verses are jam packed with meaning. Literally.

My sweet friend Kristina told me recently she's been listening to Mark Driscoll's series on Ephesians. Mark pastors Mars Hill church out in Seattle. God has used him in Seattle greatly, and they've been able to plant several more churches. Mars Hill takes seriously the spreading of the gospel and making disciples in the nations. They talk about it every week in the intro to the sermons, so they must be really serious.

I really want to dislike Mark Driscoll. He seems extremely confident, know-it-all, even. I'm sure he has trouble with humility (and yes, it takes one to know one). One of those born leaders, quite passionate about his calling and doing what he thinks is right. Likes to yell about things when he feels something very strongly. I do dislike public figures that tend to have some of these character traits, probably without good reason. Anyway, I listened to his sermon series on marriage, men, and women last year. He definitely knows his scripture, and extrapolates application pretty well, for the most part. Sometimes I think there is too much extrapolation. In listening to his sermons, he preaches for what I think is a long time. Literally, the Ephesians series has averaged an hour a sermon. Without the liturgy. Regardless, I have to give him credit. They guy knows his stuff. And he's funny to boot.

I listened today to the sermon on the verses above. Mark was spot on. He covered being "in Christ", predestination, being adopted into God's kingdom, being holy and being marked with the Holy spirit. Really good. Give it a listen here. If you have an hour, that is.

Star Trek

I have to admit that I love Captain Picard from Star Trek.

The gravitas, the leadership, the empathy: he's the reason that I kept watching after I was first introduced to Star Trek: The Next Generation (TNG for those in the know). I didn't watch it when it first came out in the late 80s, though. My ex-husband introduced me to it while we were dating. We watched the last few seasons "live", if you will, but I learned the whole history of the characters while watching.

I read the books, I watched the old series' movies, I re-watched several of the seasons many times...I became obsessed.

I loved the idealism of the series. I realize now that's it's an un-achievable idealism on this side of heaven, but I believe even know that seeing glimpses of (and striving for) an ethical humanity is something important enough to care about while we're here. Racism, sexism, defining humanity, dealing with workplace romance, watching kids mature...it was all there. I did watch some of the other series, but TNG was my favorite. Although, I do love the latest movies based on the oldest series. And there's one coming out next week! Huzzah!

Did I mention leadership? I feel like I could write an article just entitled "Everything I learned about leadership I learned from Star Trek." Picard is a hard decision-maker. He's willling to go on the toughest of missions. He also understands the importance of the chain of command. He commands respect. He understands most of LaForge's technical engineering-speak, showing his intelligence. He gave people positions because they earned them. He works with all races and species, even when they were intractable. He took time to relax in the Holodeck with a good mystery. He became part of another race and then conquered that part....oh wait, I can't use that skill.

Cheesy as it was, it had so many classy moments, especially in the last few seasons. There's a reason that its popularity endures to this day. Live Long And Prosper!

It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World

I'm not sure what happened to last week.

My daughter told me some hard facts this week. Today she said that every day that she lives with me makes her want to run away. This is after I've been gone two solid days.

My dear friend Melissa gave birth on Thursday night, five weeks early.  By God's providence she was able to get to a hospital quickly after suddenly having pre-eclampsia. The baby has been in an oxygen tent since he was born, and poor Mommy hasn't gotten to see him. I'm hopeful she will be released tomorrow and get to see him. Hopefully he can go home as soon as possible after that.

My mother-in-law had surgery on tumors last week and also had her first treatment of chemo for bladder cancer. I talked to her today and she sounds great.

There are more and more moments these days where I see God's sovereign hand in our lives. I don't know how people get along without the knowledge that God is present, in control, and is accomplishing His will to achieve His glory. This knowledge must be the bedrock of our days.