I'm not able to sleep. I'm frustrated. And sad. And angry.
How is it that there are churches that can sell people on living their best lives now? How is it that churches can get away with positivity messages? How is it that we are fighting ourselves on the things we should do here on earth to gain access to the kingdom of heaven? "Well done, good and faithful servant" does not mean "Your deeds were good, dude" or "Thanks for getting all of those commandments right." It has to mean, "you believed in me, welcome home."
How do those false teaching churches explain the death of a 20-year-old because of a hiking accident? Or a beloved father and husband of cancer? Or a beautiful baby, born to live only two hours? Or a woman who gets paralyzed from the neck down in a diving accident? Or divorce upon divorce upon divorce? Do they comfort with platitudes that Jesus makes things right? He does, of course. But not here. Not with our weak and frail bodies and minds. Not with this sin in our hearts that never leaves us. I believe that perseverance produces in us a desire for heaven. A longing for it. We will not get heaven here, in this nation, in this state, in this city. Anyone who teaches that is a false prophet. This means you, Bryan Adams.
Give me a church that helps me cope. That tells me it's not up to us. That reminds me it's a temporary sort of happiness I feel about things. Give me repentance, and an acknowledgment of sin, and a belief system that won't crumble when circumstances change. Help me find "joy" that is only achieved by Jesus' work. Then, and only then, I will have no need to turn away because He won't let me.
Tuesday, August 27, 2013
Saturday, August 17, 2013
Day by Day
As I get older, I am more and more enamored of simpler things. The things that are worth spending time on don't have to be amazingly complex, intellectual, metaphysical concepts. I find that I'd rather watch a movie. Or talk to my kids. Or hold hands with someone on a walk. Or read a book.
Yesterday, I got up at six and got ready to move M to her new apartment. She had an 8 am check-in time at her apartment complex. This complex is designed for college students. Furniture is already there. Washer/dryer exists, bathroom for each bedroom. The complex has a pool, volleyball court, soccer area, and a movie theater, for crying out loud. M is going to have three other roommates, two of whom were her high school best friends. I have known the girls and the parents of those girls for fourteen years.
When we got to complex, we waited in line for 45 minutes and filled out paperwork. Then, and only then, did we get the keys. And that started the process for the actual move. We still had a good number of boxes, even with all of the things that the Woodlands provided. Since I sweat amazingly well, I worked up a good one while we moved her in. Took probably two hours. Then we ate pizza with our friends. M and I went back to our house to get some things that we'd missed and we headed to Target to get a few groceries. On the way, M repeated the hilarious story of her interviewing for a job on campus...for tech support. Which she has never done in her life other than setting up her own computer. She impressed them somehow because she got the job while we were driving. She told them how her parents were both in IT and somehow that made them excited. Anyway, she has yet to figure out what to do with this job.
I went out last night with some good friends and my boyfriend to a restaurant called the Bright Star. You feel like you're walking into a bit of history, surrounded by pictures of Greek men who decided to open up a business in Alabama and it has now become the oldest restaurant in Alabama. We had amazing food prepared by the chef from Commander's Palace and topics of conversation that ranged from Buddhism, car accidents, how people met, and how spicy food makes people excited.
Today, I spent the day with K and we shopped and laughed like crazy. I bought lavender aviators, a chunky necklace, and a cream soda-flavored snow cone from Summer Snow. She bought two new shirts, a Camelbak, and a cherry limeade flavored snow cone. We got some nice loot at Walgreens and groceries to make a pizza. Somehow she managed to clean her bathroom and I went for a run on top of it all.
It's weekends like this that I really love. The simplicity of just being together with those we care about means so much.
Yesterday, I got up at six and got ready to move M to her new apartment. She had an 8 am check-in time at her apartment complex. This complex is designed for college students. Furniture is already there. Washer/dryer exists, bathroom for each bedroom. The complex has a pool, volleyball court, soccer area, and a movie theater, for crying out loud. M is going to have three other roommates, two of whom were her high school best friends. I have known the girls and the parents of those girls for fourteen years.
When we got to complex, we waited in line for 45 minutes and filled out paperwork. Then, and only then, did we get the keys. And that started the process for the actual move. We still had a good number of boxes, even with all of the things that the Woodlands provided. Since I sweat amazingly well, I worked up a good one while we moved her in. Took probably two hours. Then we ate pizza with our friends. M and I went back to our house to get some things that we'd missed and we headed to Target to get a few groceries. On the way, M repeated the hilarious story of her interviewing for a job on campus...for tech support. Which she has never done in her life other than setting up her own computer. She impressed them somehow because she got the job while we were driving. She told them how her parents were both in IT and somehow that made them excited. Anyway, she has yet to figure out what to do with this job.
I went out last night with some good friends and my boyfriend to a restaurant called the Bright Star. You feel like you're walking into a bit of history, surrounded by pictures of Greek men who decided to open up a business in Alabama and it has now become the oldest restaurant in Alabama. We had amazing food prepared by the chef from Commander's Palace and topics of conversation that ranged from Buddhism, car accidents, how people met, and how spicy food makes people excited.
Today, I spent the day with K and we shopped and laughed like crazy. I bought lavender aviators, a chunky necklace, and a cream soda-flavored snow cone from Summer Snow. She bought two new shirts, a Camelbak, and a cherry limeade flavored snow cone. We got some nice loot at Walgreens and groceries to make a pizza. Somehow she managed to clean her bathroom and I went for a run on top of it all.
It's weekends like this that I really love. The simplicity of just being together with those we care about means so much.
Thursday, August 8, 2013
Death is not the end
This has been an emotionally tough year. Lots of reasons. But most of them don't center around me. The tough times have centered most recently around those I love. And watching it and feeling it is so hard.
Almost three weeks ago, a dear friend of M's went hiking with two friends in Switzerland. He separated from them because he wanted to keep going, went off a beaten path, and fell. He was killed. He was 20.
This friend of M's was a believer. He's in heaven, rejoicing with Jesus. Rejoicing with his nephew who died three years ago of brain cancer. I am close with this boy's sister. I've seen his face in her family pictures for years. His sister is my age and we thought it was so funny that her brother was my daughter's age.
This boy spent the summer with M in Spain and I am so grateful that she knew him.
I have watched them both cry tears of pain and I've cried with them. I read a post yesterday by a mom who lost her baby and how she grieves and recoveres. It seems so appropriate:
"While the agony of missing my son throbs in my mind and my body, while I carry it every moment like a lead weight inside my chest, I still taste the goodness in my life, and am glad of it. But nothing is pure anymore; the bitter and the sweet are entangled forever. I am two people now: one mourns and the other takes the steps that make up life, and sometimes they regard each other with an aching bewilderment. And when the question comes—“How are you?”—they look at each other helplessly, wondering who should answer."
I have felt glimmers of that in my life. Life's bitter moments have led to rejoicing in God's goodness (after some wrestling with Him) but you feel like the bitter is still there, with the sweet. It makes us long for Heaven more, I think, the older we get. And sometimes, those that are really special get to go and be with Jesus even sooner.
Almost three weeks ago, a dear friend of M's went hiking with two friends in Switzerland. He separated from them because he wanted to keep going, went off a beaten path, and fell. He was killed. He was 20.
This friend of M's was a believer. He's in heaven, rejoicing with Jesus. Rejoicing with his nephew who died three years ago of brain cancer. I am close with this boy's sister. I've seen his face in her family pictures for years. His sister is my age and we thought it was so funny that her brother was my daughter's age.
This boy spent the summer with M in Spain and I am so grateful that she knew him.
I have watched them both cry tears of pain and I've cried with them. I read a post yesterday by a mom who lost her baby and how she grieves and recoveres. It seems so appropriate:
"While the agony of missing my son throbs in my mind and my body, while I carry it every moment like a lead weight inside my chest, I still taste the goodness in my life, and am glad of it. But nothing is pure anymore; the bitter and the sweet are entangled forever. I am two people now: one mourns and the other takes the steps that make up life, and sometimes they regard each other with an aching bewilderment. And when the question comes—“How are you?”—they look at each other helplessly, wondering who should answer."
I have felt glimmers of that in my life. Life's bitter moments have led to rejoicing in God's goodness (after some wrestling with Him) but you feel like the bitter is still there, with the sweet. It makes us long for Heaven more, I think, the older we get. And sometimes, those that are really special get to go and be with Jesus even sooner.
Monday, July 22, 2013
Definition
The church visiting that I've done (only two, let's be real here) has been very eye-opening in many ways. It's forced me to reflect on many things I sort of absorbed into my consciousness, things I took for granted, and things I need to make sure are valid.
I didn't realize how much of my church has been wrapped into my identity. I have always wanted to be part of a big family, part of a place where I'm accepted for who I am and for what I believe without being too judged, and I've felt that at church. But more than that, my church has also defined my belief system about God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit, and I have been challenging myself on what surrounds that. Churches can easily say the right things on the "What We Believe" or "About Us" portion of their website, and I want to make sure that when I go there in person, that what they say matches what they believe.
Things like:
1) Jesus saves. ie, Salvation.
2) God sent Jesus to save us. ie Justification/Redemption.
3) God sent the Holy Spirit to guide us, to change us, and to make us more like Him. ie Sanctification.
4) God gave us His word to teach us. ie, the inerrancy of scripture.
But even more than that...
5) What is the belief system on sin and what is taught on it?
6) What does church membership mean to another church?
7) Does God do the work in our hearts, and what is our part?
8) What is the narrow path? Is the easy road taken in teaching/preaching?
9) Is the teaching man-centered or Jesus-centered?
10) How is the church organized? Is it inward or outward?
11) Are the youth taught with depth about why they should abstain from sin, ie smoking/drinking/sex/swearing/disobedience? Why does all of that matter? Is it just obedience or is there more to it?
12) How do members proclaim their love, their joy for Jesus? Where is it on Sunday morning? Where is it during the week? Where is it when tragedy strikes?
I didn't realize how much of my church has been wrapped into my identity. I have always wanted to be part of a big family, part of a place where I'm accepted for who I am and for what I believe without being too judged, and I've felt that at church. But more than that, my church has also defined my belief system about God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit, and I have been challenging myself on what surrounds that. Churches can easily say the right things on the "What We Believe" or "About Us" portion of their website, and I want to make sure that when I go there in person, that what they say matches what they believe.
Things like:
1) Jesus saves. ie, Salvation.
2) God sent Jesus to save us. ie Justification/Redemption.
3) God sent the Holy Spirit to guide us, to change us, and to make us more like Him. ie Sanctification.
4) God gave us His word to teach us. ie, the inerrancy of scripture.
But even more than that...
5) What is the belief system on sin and what is taught on it?
6) What does church membership mean to another church?
7) Does God do the work in our hearts, and what is our part?
8) What is the narrow path? Is the easy road taken in teaching/preaching?
9) Is the teaching man-centered or Jesus-centered?
10) How is the church organized? Is it inward or outward?
11) Are the youth taught with depth about why they should abstain from sin, ie smoking/drinking/sex/swearing/disobedience? Why does all of that matter? Is it just obedience or is there more to it?
12) How do members proclaim their love, their joy for Jesus? Where is it on Sunday morning? Where is it during the week? Where is it when tragedy strikes?
Sunday, July 21, 2013
My Niece's 1st Birthday
About a month ago, K & I flew to Chicago to celebrate my niece's first birthday.
There was shopping.
There was biking.
There was sightseeing.
There was talking/laughing.
There was playing with the niece.
K and I spent the first day out at the mall in Westmont while my sister and my parents went to buy a new car. I think we got the better end of the deal, even if we did walk a lot at the outdoor mall. We ate at Maggiano's, shopped at a lot of clothing stores, and just overall had a good time together. After lunch, we went home and helped get ready for the party. We actually trimmed bushes outside, helped blow up balloons, and made sure all the food items (popcorn, rice krispie treats, etc) were ready. My sister had planned a "bubbles and balloons" theme and really went all out. She'd hired people to put a tent in the backyard and had a lot of food and fun planned. Speaking of fun, K and I also took our first bike rides on my sister's bikes. Those were (quite literally) the best bikes I've ever ridden in my entire life. Easy to ride, no gear changing even on smaller hills, and a smooth experience. I even made K put on a helmet!
On my niece's birthday, it was a madhouse getting ready because the party was at 10 am. So we got catered food, finished decorations, and made sure she had the right outfit on. My sister hired a balloon specialist/tattoo artist; someone who could not only create balloon animals, but also put tattoos on kids that wanted to look like a rebel without a cause. My sister started noticing texts around 9 that people were cancelling...so we had way too much food, but what can you do? People began arriving, and around 30 minutes later, the bottom fell out - a thunderstorm came through. We all huddled in the tent watching the heavy shower around us. Through it all, my sister kept smiling and visiting. She was amazing! The rain stopped, we all ate, and then we decided to let my niece partake of her birthday cake. At that point, her bottom fell out: she began screaming while crying and wouldn't stop. Watching your niece do that while being force-fed birthday cake just makes you want to hold her and run away. She got cake everywhere, even while crying, which was pretty funny. My sister whisked her inside to clean her up while the kids ran around blowing bubbles and popping their balloon animals in the grass. Afterward, a lot of people left while some stragglers stayed, went inside, and played with babies. After everyone left, I would like to say that I went upstairs and took a nap, but I think I just relaxed and we went biking later on. We did go out to eat for dinner at Houlihan's and watched my niece devour tomato soup (I ate a great wrap sandwich). K spent some time at Forever 21 which she didn't get to do the previous day. How much shopping could she do? I was amazed. She is not a shopper.
We all went to Chicago the next day (minus my niece). We stopped at the Bean and the fountains (with faces of people on them) first, watched a kid doing a street dance, and headed to the "Taste of Randolph" food festival in downtown Chicago. We actually rode a bus there, which was interesting because it was the first time I'd taken public transportation there. We got there without incident, but it helped that we had a seasoned Chicago traveler (my sister) to tell us when to get off the bus. It was pretty hot, so we walked slowly through the crowds and bought food from vendors at reduced prices. I got an amazing tomato salad, fish tacos, and some chips and guacamole. While it was great to get all of this food, it was really crowded and there weren't a lot of places to sit. So we left after that and took a bus down to the Pier, where we walked, ate ice cream, and watched the sailboats head into the Bay. We left for home, where we (once again) went biking!
On the last day, we relaxed for the most part. K and I went to a downtown area where we browsed some really cute stores and got some gourmet popcorn. We spent the day playing with the niece and hanging out with my sister. When you have a sister who is as hard-working, dynamic, and caring as mine, that's what you want to do.
There was shopping.
There was biking.
There was sightseeing.
There was talking/laughing.
There was playing with the niece.
K and I spent the first day out at the mall in Westmont while my sister and my parents went to buy a new car. I think we got the better end of the deal, even if we did walk a lot at the outdoor mall. We ate at Maggiano's, shopped at a lot of clothing stores, and just overall had a good time together. After lunch, we went home and helped get ready for the party. We actually trimmed bushes outside, helped blow up balloons, and made sure all the food items (popcorn, rice krispie treats, etc) were ready. My sister had planned a "bubbles and balloons" theme and really went all out. She'd hired people to put a tent in the backyard and had a lot of food and fun planned. Speaking of fun, K and I also took our first bike rides on my sister's bikes. Those were (quite literally) the best bikes I've ever ridden in my entire life. Easy to ride, no gear changing even on smaller hills, and a smooth experience. I even made K put on a helmet!
On my niece's birthday, it was a madhouse getting ready because the party was at 10 am. So we got catered food, finished decorations, and made sure she had the right outfit on. My sister hired a balloon specialist/tattoo artist; someone who could not only create balloon animals, but also put tattoos on kids that wanted to look like a rebel without a cause. My sister started noticing texts around 9 that people were cancelling...so we had way too much food, but what can you do? People began arriving, and around 30 minutes later, the bottom fell out - a thunderstorm came through. We all huddled in the tent watching the heavy shower around us. Through it all, my sister kept smiling and visiting. She was amazing! The rain stopped, we all ate, and then we decided to let my niece partake of her birthday cake. At that point, her bottom fell out: she began screaming while crying and wouldn't stop. Watching your niece do that while being force-fed birthday cake just makes you want to hold her and run away. She got cake everywhere, even while crying, which was pretty funny. My sister whisked her inside to clean her up while the kids ran around blowing bubbles and popping their balloon animals in the grass. Afterward, a lot of people left while some stragglers stayed, went inside, and played with babies. After everyone left, I would like to say that I went upstairs and took a nap, but I think I just relaxed and we went biking later on. We did go out to eat for dinner at Houlihan's and watched my niece devour tomato soup (I ate a great wrap sandwich). K spent some time at Forever 21 which she didn't get to do the previous day. How much shopping could she do? I was amazed. She is not a shopper.
We all went to Chicago the next day (minus my niece). We stopped at the Bean and the fountains (with faces of people on them) first, watched a kid doing a street dance, and headed to the "Taste of Randolph" food festival in downtown Chicago. We actually rode a bus there, which was interesting because it was the first time I'd taken public transportation there. We got there without incident, but it helped that we had a seasoned Chicago traveler (my sister) to tell us when to get off the bus. It was pretty hot, so we walked slowly through the crowds and bought food from vendors at reduced prices. I got an amazing tomato salad, fish tacos, and some chips and guacamole. While it was great to get all of this food, it was really crowded and there weren't a lot of places to sit. So we left after that and took a bus down to the Pier, where we walked, ate ice cream, and watched the sailboats head into the Bay. We left for home, where we (once again) went biking!
On the last day, we relaxed for the most part. K and I went to a downtown area where we browsed some really cute stores and got some gourmet popcorn. We spent the day playing with the niece and hanging out with my sister. When you have a sister who is as hard-working, dynamic, and caring as mine, that's what you want to do.
Monday, July 15, 2013
The Church, Part 2
There has been so much going on in the last month, not from an "activities" standpoint, but from a "thinking" standpoint, that I have been fairly quiet. Some of my thoughts are related to matters that are confidential, and some are related to matters that I was afraid would be misinterpreted. Thus, the quiet. I've decided to start thinking aloud again at least about one of the matters.
I have been struggling with my break-up, and after discussing the situation with the man I'd been dating, the root of the matter really came down to one thing for me: what church we'd go to. I've been discussing this matter with people I trust. I find that the counsel of wise believers is worth so much - especially when it's from those that you've respected, not just from a "they're smart" perspective, but from people who live godly lives and have studied with you, prayed with you, and cared for you. Ultimately, what I realized is that in two to six years, my children will be grown, probably moved out of Tuscaloosa, and hopefully worshipping in a gospel-preaching church. And while my church family has been my spiritual family, there have been times of loneliness because of being single. It is hard to be single in a small church. No, everyone is not married. We actually have a number of single women, and a few single men. However, when I think of my future, I'd like to be married. I'd like to walk into a marriage knowing what it truly represents: a mirror of Christ and the church. Christ serving the church. And, God's sanctifying grace to the church because of Christ - which represents how sanctification occurs during marriage. These are all concepts that I didn't have any idea about in my first marriage.
So, my thought process followed, if I was dating a godly man who liked the preaching of my church but not the overall worship service, then wouldn't it make sense to see if there was a church that suited both of us? This proved to be much larger of a question than I'd ever realized. Because with this question, you start thinking about what's important in a church. Things like:
What are the basics of belief you won't give on?
How does a church preach on sin?
What does church membership look like?
What does "joy" look like in worship?
What is done in the liturgy (Lord's prayer, reading of scripture, communion, benediction)?
Since I've only ever belonged to one church, I have taken much of what I've done there in the worship for granted. But I think there is much more to church than worship, although that's the first place to start. It's also about the underlying teachings and how they affect our lives from day-to-day. It's about how the members fellowship with one another. And it's about accepting that it's a body of sinners, and in that body, accepting each other's sin and working through differences can also sanctify us. It makes us more like Christ. Isn't that amazing?
So it's with those thoughts (which I've prayed about) that I asked myself, is there another church in Tuscaloosa that might work for me AND the man I'm dating, and if so, what would that mean?
I have been struggling with my break-up, and after discussing the situation with the man I'd been dating, the root of the matter really came down to one thing for me: what church we'd go to. I've been discussing this matter with people I trust. I find that the counsel of wise believers is worth so much - especially when it's from those that you've respected, not just from a "they're smart" perspective, but from people who live godly lives and have studied with you, prayed with you, and cared for you. Ultimately, what I realized is that in two to six years, my children will be grown, probably moved out of Tuscaloosa, and hopefully worshipping in a gospel-preaching church. And while my church family has been my spiritual family, there have been times of loneliness because of being single. It is hard to be single in a small church. No, everyone is not married. We actually have a number of single women, and a few single men. However, when I think of my future, I'd like to be married. I'd like to walk into a marriage knowing what it truly represents: a mirror of Christ and the church. Christ serving the church. And, God's sanctifying grace to the church because of Christ - which represents how sanctification occurs during marriage. These are all concepts that I didn't have any idea about in my first marriage.
So, my thought process followed, if I was dating a godly man who liked the preaching of my church but not the overall worship service, then wouldn't it make sense to see if there was a church that suited both of us? This proved to be much larger of a question than I'd ever realized. Because with this question, you start thinking about what's important in a church. Things like:
What are the basics of belief you won't give on?
How does a church preach on sin?
What does church membership look like?
What does "joy" look like in worship?
What is done in the liturgy (Lord's prayer, reading of scripture, communion, benediction)?
Since I've only ever belonged to one church, I have taken much of what I've done there in the worship for granted. But I think there is much more to church than worship, although that's the first place to start. It's also about the underlying teachings and how they affect our lives from day-to-day. It's about how the members fellowship with one another. And it's about accepting that it's a body of sinners, and in that body, accepting each other's sin and working through differences can also sanctify us. It makes us more like Christ. Isn't that amazing?
So it's with those thoughts (which I've prayed about) that I asked myself, is there another church in Tuscaloosa that might work for me AND the man I'm dating, and if so, what would that mean?
Sunday, June 23, 2013
Anxiety. Worry. Mistrust. What to Do?
I have other things to write about, but I must admit I've been victim to these emotions for a variety of reasons lately. I love to talk about my worry-wart mother who will sit by the phone and fret if her daughters don't answer the phone. One time, before I had a cell phone that I carried everywhere, Mom tried reaching me at my house for a solid day. Then, when she didn't hear from me, she called my friend David, who tried to tell her that he was sure I was fine. Then, she called the police. I'd been travelling for the day and got home right before they showed up. What a day.
Yet, she's not alone in her worry. I have it too. I must admit, being a mom shoots the worry thermometer through the roof. No longer can you be carefree, have no one dependent on you, and be ready to drop and do something at a moment's notice. Even worse, having someone dependent on you that you love most desperately makes you anxiously think that you could do something to affect that person's life negatively. Or, you just worry that they will get kidnapped, traumatically hurt, or doomed to a life of unhappiness because of something completely out of your control.
"Do not be anxious, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving, let your requests be known to God." The Bible clearly has a remedy for anxiety and worry. Also, it clearly labels worry for what it really is: sin. Knowing all of that, I still do it. I know plenty of Christians who do it.
Why do I have this? Lack of trust, is the only answer. A lack of trust over who has me in His hands. Even when I tell myself to be patient, and tell myself that He is the there, or sometimes five minutes after I've prayed. I turn my head and I question who I am or what will happen with a situation. Quick as you can say "hot dog," I flip 180 degrees from peace to strain. I want to ponder my worry, turn it over in my mind, or discuss it verbally with someone who might tell me what to do. Immediately. That never happens.
The thing about it is that I know it for what it is. And that's a huge boon. I know what to do. I know who I am, in Christ. And I hope one day, when I'm old and grey, that I'll be that much closer to "no worries." For good.
Yet, she's not alone in her worry. I have it too. I must admit, being a mom shoots the worry thermometer through the roof. No longer can you be carefree, have no one dependent on you, and be ready to drop and do something at a moment's notice. Even worse, having someone dependent on you that you love most desperately makes you anxiously think that you could do something to affect that person's life negatively. Or, you just worry that they will get kidnapped, traumatically hurt, or doomed to a life of unhappiness because of something completely out of your control.
"Do not be anxious, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving, let your requests be known to God." The Bible clearly has a remedy for anxiety and worry. Also, it clearly labels worry for what it really is: sin. Knowing all of that, I still do it. I know plenty of Christians who do it.
Why do I have this? Lack of trust, is the only answer. A lack of trust over who has me in His hands. Even when I tell myself to be patient, and tell myself that He is the there, or sometimes five minutes after I've prayed. I turn my head and I question who I am or what will happen with a situation. Quick as you can say "hot dog," I flip 180 degrees from peace to strain. I want to ponder my worry, turn it over in my mind, or discuss it verbally with someone who might tell me what to do. Immediately. That never happens.
The thing about it is that I know it for what it is. And that's a huge boon. I know what to do. I know who I am, in Christ. And I hope one day, when I'm old and grey, that I'll be that much closer to "no worries." For good.
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