My life has its difficult moments. I get frustrated for various reasons: motherhood, career, family, church. Lack of maturity, lack of grace, lack of humility. Relationships with anyone...frustrations with everyone. Yet there are times when I see rays of light. I saw one such ray of light on Sunday.
10+ years ago, I went to a fellowship group at my friends' house. I had some dear friends named Bryan and Kathy that shepherded our group; they'd been walking with me as I struggled with my husband leaving. I struggled with asking him to leave. I wept at home, I wept at work, I wept going to sleep. Those had been private weepings because I didn't want to admit my weakness and my absolute despair that my marriage was ending. At this fellowship group, I was surrounded by some wonderful church friends. That fellowship group was the first one that I attended since I'd been separated. And as I stated my prayer requests back then, I broke down, weeping publicly. Kathy came over and hugged me, allowing me to say things that I don't remember. No one judged. Everyone cared. And everyone prayed for me.
I've been going to fellowship groups off and on over the last ten years. My shepherding elder has changed. My church has changed. This past Sunday night, I brought someone that I am dating to my group. I've never done that before; I've always gone by myself. I hadn't even been the one to invite him, my shepherding elder had invited him, yet it felt right. And as we begun to pray, I was overcome, I nearly broke down again in tears - remembering back to my brokenness and weeping over a destroyed marriage.
God had given me a gift. An insight that there are still possibilities for me. My romantic life didn't end at 30.
No one there knew this. I didn't announce it. It was just a beautiful moment. And I'm grateful.
that was beautiful!
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