Someone I know posted on facebook about how the best gift in the world is the pure, unadulterated love of a child. For whatever reason, this induced my gag reflex and made me almost hurl. I'm hoping in these maudlin posts about my daughter growing up that it's clear that my first problem is that I'm going to miss her and worry about her, but it should be made clear that she's also completely human, ridiculously taciturn, and occasionally quite moody. Secondly, I'm worried about living in my house alone with my OCD second child who can be a pill particularly when she orders me around about what things I need to work on that day. And typically her list is at the end of mine. We might kill each other next year. Thirdly, I'm thinking that after the second child graduates, I might end up getting a lot of pets and being that weird neighbor that people try to avoid.
I think these are all very good reasons for me to not want my children to get older. I am not a big fan of the whole "my life is wonderful and my kids are the best" facebook picture that seems to be prevalent. The only reasons I post pics on FB is to make sure my family knows what we look like and also to make my children look like the most popular kids at school. This is what pure, unadulterated love on this side of heaven is: take, take, take from each other and make ourselves look better than the next family. Women bloggers and facebookers that tell me only about their perfect children without discussing that the children are also pains in the asses really make me want to vomit and be violent.
Having now made it clear that M is not an ideal child, she did send me this text yesterday, on her last day of high school: "Thanks for those muffins you made me for breakfast!!! Thanks for birthing me that was nice too. And for taking me to kindergarten.... just awesome"
I am still suspicious that it was actually M that typed this.
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