Unstudied Chaos

"Home is wherever I'm with you..." My friend Ragan quoted this song by Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeroes on her blog. I love that song. However, I have to admit that my favorite rendition is not from the Zeroes, it's from Jorge and Alexa Narvaez, which you can watch here.

Having said that, I need to mention that I am not living at home. My house is sitting, empty, forlorn, waiting. It's floors are being sanded and refinished. I'm at my friend Beth's watching "The Voice" and making fun of all of the singers.

Is the house a home because of what I do to it? Of course not. It's not the meals that I wish I cooked more often (sad). It's not the Southern Living decor that people put in it that make it a home. Which I don't have. It's not the pinterest crafts that I sometimes stare at, but then think, "Who has time to make this stuff?"

Home is about the relationships you make. The discussions about what your hopes and dreams are, like going to Africa when people are driving you crazy but it really doesn't solve your problems so you argue about it. It's about wondering about which boy you're interested in, like Jake or Oliver or whoever. It's about praying together for those that you know who are suffering. It's about screaming at each other when you lose your tempers and then asking for forgiveness when you realize your sin was just out there on display. It's about laughing together when you're watching a movie or doing something really awkward or sharing a story about your day. It's about coloring together, playing games together, helping one another.

I need to stop feeling guilty about all of the things I don't get to do and just get out there and live. In a way my life is just a little crazy (who would really decide to get floors refinished the week their daughter turns 16, I mean seriously) but I have realized that I like it that way. It's a bit of unstudied chaos with structure thrown in for good measure. It's just me.